Talent Show!
by HedwigandHermes7
Summary: What happens when Hogwarts hosts a talent show? Who will compete? What will they do? Read to find out!
1. Loosen up

AN: I was bored so I wrote a bunch of random gibberish. I imagined them doing these things all through when I was writing and managed to spit out my Coke a few times. I hope you like it! R&R?

Harry was sitting in the common room when he noticed the sign in the corner of the room. It read 'Hogwarts talent show! Got a talent? Want to make a fool of yourself? Come to the first annual Hogwarts talent show! Featuring Fred and George Weasley!' Harry laughed. Fred and George being there would definitely impact the number of acts that would sign up. _Maybe I'll do something…_

Ron was thinking. Joining the talent show would mean that he was ready to be a school joke, but it did for everyone else too. Not joining would make him a chicken, but he was with Fred and George there. He knew Ginny was thinking about signing up, but what about Harry? If Harry was doing it, then he was too.

Hermione was _not _afraid of some dumb stage. Okay, a little. No, a lot. She had already signed up, and Fred and George being so smart, they made every name permanently stick to the sheet. No spell could reverse it. She was up for good. But her only problem was…_what on earth am I going to do? _

Ginny had a plan. She was in the library researching muggle songs when Hermione came in. "Whatcha doing Ginny?" Hermione asked lazily. "Oh just doing some research on what song I'm deciding to sing." Ginny said tiredly. "Hey wait! Your parents are muggles! Can you get them to grab me a CD, I can't find it anywhere here! It's…."

Draco made sure Pansy hadn't signed them up for a duet in the talent show for about the eighteenth time that morning. He wasn't frightened of the stage, just her. In his opinion, his marvelous singing voice was completely fantastic, but Pansy's made his sleek blonde hair curl. And _that, _my friends, was a tragedy. _Of course _I'm _signing up! Who wouldn't want to hear moi in the flesh? I mean I am Slytherin Royalty. Hehe…I bet people will be lining up just to see me perform. _

Professor Snape was in the teachers' lounge when word of a talent show reached his ears. "A talent show? Who's idea was this? What dimwitted-" Snape started. "Just so you know, Dumbledore takes great pride in his ideas." McGonagall said disapprovingly "Dumbledore? You mean this nutty idea was _his? _Oh dear god…" Snape said, truly disappointed. But things were going through his mind…_is there a prize? _

The night of the talent show came within the next week. Everyone was ready to perform when Fred and George came out on stage. "Welcome to the first annual Hogwarts Talent Show!" Fred shouted to the excited crowd. "And we will be-" "-Your announcers for the night!" Fred said, finishing George's sentence. "First up is someone very near and dear to us! She sings in the shower-" "She dances quite badly-" "And she hogs the bathroom! I'm pleased to introduce you to our friend, sister, and pet peeve,-" "Ginny Weasley!" Ginny came out wearing a white tank top, dark blue jean Capri's, and black high heels. Somehow Ginny managed to pull the simple outfit off to be formal. She looked rather flustered due to her brothers' rude announcement and quickly made to say at the least, hand gesture. Following her was Blaise Zabini, looking ready to kill. Something told Harry that Ginny had signed Zabini up without telling him. Music came from the CD player in the corner. It was definitely hip-hop, but nothing Harry had ever heard coming from Dudley's stereo. Blaise started talking first, then Ginny started singing.

Blaise:

Yeah lil mama you lookin good  
I see you wanna play with a player from the hood  
come holla at me, you got it like that  
big Snoop Dogg with the lead Pussycat  
I show you how it go down, yea I wanna throw down  
me and you one-on-one, treat it like a showdown  
you look at me and I look at you  
I'm reachin for your shirt whatchu want me to do?

Ginny:

I'm telling you loosen up my buttons baby (Uh huh)  
But you keep fronting (Uh)  
Saying what you going to do to me (Uh huh)  
But I ain't seen nothing (Uh)

I'm telling you loosen up my buttons baby (Uh huh)  
But you keep fronting (Uh)  
Saying what you going to do to me (Uh huh)  
But I ain't seen nothing (Uh)

Typical  
Hardly the type I fall for  
I'm liking the physical  
Don't leave me asking for more  
I'm a sexy mama (Mama)  
Who knows just how to get what I want and (Want and)  
What I want to do is spring this on you (On you)  
Back up all of the things that I told you (Told you)

You been saying all the right things all along  
But I can't seem to get you over here to help take this off  
Baby, can't you see?  
How these clothes are fitting on me  
And the heat coming from this beat  
I'm about to blow  
I don't think you know

I'm telling you loosen up my buttons baby (Uh huh)  
But you keep fronting (Uh)  
Saying what you going to do to me (Uh huh)  
But I ain't seen nothing (Uh)

I'm telling you loosen up my buttons baby (Uh huh)  
But you keep fronting (Uh)  
Saying what you going to do to me (Uh huh)  
But I ain't seen nothing (Uh)

_You say you're a big boy  
But I can't agree  
'Cause the love you said you had  
Ain't been put on me  
I wonder  
If I'm just too much for you  
Wonder  
If my kiss don't make you just  
Wonder  
What I got next for you  
What you want to do? (Do)_

Take a chance to recognize that this could be yours

_I can see, just like most guys that your game don't please  
Baby, can't you see?  
How these clothes are fitting on me  
And the heat coming from this beat  
I'm about to blow  
I don't think you know_

I'm telling you loosen up my buttons baby (Uh huh)  
But you keep fronting (Uh)  
Saying what you going to do to me (Uh huh)  
But I ain't seen nothing (Uh)

I'm telling you loosen up my buttons baby (Uh huh)  
But you keep fronting (Uh)  
Saying what you going to do to me (Uh huh)  
But I ain't seen nothing (Uh)

I'm a make you loosen up my buttons babe  
Loosen up my buttons babe  
Why don't you loosen up my buttons babe  
Loosen up my buttons babe

Blaise:

Now you can get what you want but I need what I need  
Now let me tell you what's crackin like it  
I'm a show you where to put it at  
PCD on me yea I thought I saw a puddycat  
now roll with the big dog all 6 of y'all on me now tell me how it feel babydoll  
Ashley, Nicole, Carmi, Jessica, Kimberley, Melody you tellin me

Ginny:

I'm a make you loosen up my buttons babe  
Loosen up my buttons babe  
Why don't you loosen up my buttons babe  
Loosen up my buttons babe

I'm telling you loosen up my buttons baby (Uh huh)  
But you keep fronting (Uh)  
Saying what you going to do to me (Uh huh)  
But I ain't seen nothing (Uh)

I'm telling you loosen up my buttons baby (Uh huh)  
But you keep fronting (Uh)  
Saying what you going to do to me (Uh huh)  
But I ain't seen nothing (Uh)

I'm telling you loosen up my buttons baby (Uh huh)  
But you keep fronting (Uh)  
Saying what you going to do to me (Uh huh)  
But I ain't seen nothing (Uh)

I'm telling you loosen up my buttons baby (Uh huh)  
But you keep fronting (Uh)  
Saying what you going to do to me (Uh huh)  
But I ain't seen nothing (Uh)

After the song was over, many of the boys were staring with wonder at the stage where Ginny and Blaise were taking bows. "Very good performance by Ginny Weasley and Blaise Zabini!" Fred shouted to the cheers. "But Zabini, we must warn you, if you EVER say ANYTHING like that to our sister again, we will personally take care of it." George said with a manic grin on his face. Blaise looked quite afraid. "Well next up is…

AN: Yay for random Gibberish! Well this is all one train of thought, so the second chapter should be up later today. Happy Thanksgiving everyone!


	2. Take it to the chorus

AN: New chapter! My turkey's cooking and I am happy as a pig in mud. Hey, my mom's southern, can't blame me.

…Draco Malfoy." Fred shouted flatly. Draco came out running a hand through his hair and smirked cockily. "Singing something that we don't care about." George murmured. "Thank you weasels. Prepare." Draco shouted to the crowd. Music started from the CD player again. This time it was a techno funk beat that came from the speakers.

_I'm bringin' sexy back_

_Them other boys don't know how to act_

_I think it's special what's behind your back_

_So turn around and I'll pick up the slack_

_Take it to the bridge_

_Dirty Babe_

_You see these shackles baby I'm your slave_

_I'll let you whip me if I misbehave_

_It's just that no one makes me feel this way_

_Take it to the chorus_

_Come here girl (Go head be bold with it)_

_Come to the back (Go head be bold with it)_

_VIP(Go head be bold with it)_

_Drinks on me (Go head be bold with it)_

_Lemme see what you twerking with(Go head be bold with it)_

_Look at those hips (Go head be bold with it)_

_You make me smile (Go head be bold with it)_

_Go 'head child (Go head be bold with it)_

_And get your sexy on_

_(Go head be bold with it)_

_I'm bringin' sexy back_

_Them other don't know how to act_

_Girl let me make up for the things you lack_

_Because you're burning up I got to get it fast_

_(Take it to the bridge)_

_(Take it to the chorus)_

_You ready?_

_You ready?_

_You ready?_

_I'm bringin' sexy back_

_You mother watch how I attack_

_If that's your girl, better watch your back_

_Cause she's burning up for me and that's a fact_

_(Take it to the chorus)_

Pansy was swooning in her seat, most of the Slytherin girls were. All of the rest of them were disgusted with him. Fred and George were on the verge of vomiting. Ginny came back out and announced, "That was probably one of the most disgusting things in the world witnessed by a human being. Go back to your trailer, Malfoy. The one specially built for your ego." She mumbled. The Gryffindors were hysterically laughing. "Alright. Next up will be…

AN: New chapter! Wow I am updating so fast! Thanksgiving gave me extra energy. Cool. Well R&R!!


	3. Driving Slow

Ron? I-err-Ron Weasley!" Ginny sent him a questioning look as he passed her to get onto the stage. A pop rock song started playing from the stereo.

_Sunday morning rain is falling  
Steal some covers share some skin  
Clouds are shrouding us in moments unforgettable  
You twist to fit the mold that I am in  
But things just get so crazy living life gets hard to do  
And I would gladly hit the road get up and go if I knew  
That someday it would bring me back to you  
That someday it would bring me back to you _

That may be all I need  
In darkness she is all I see  
Come and rest your bones with me  
Driving slow on Sunday morning  
And I never want to leave

Fingers trace your every outline  
Paint a picture with my hands  
Back and forth we sway like branches in a storm

_Change the weather still together when it ends_

_That may be all I need  
In darkness she is all I see  
Come and rest your bones with me  
Driving slow on Sunday morning  
And I never want to leave_

_But things just get so crazy living life gets hard to do  
Sunday morning rain is falling and I'm calling out to you  
Singing someday it'll bring me back to you  
Find a way to bring myself home to you_

_And you may not know  
That may be all I need  
In darkness she is all I see  
Come and rest your bones with me  
Driving slow?_

Everyone looked shocked. Ron Weasley can sing? Went through their heads. Hermione was sitting, astonished, backstage. "Alright, since Fred and George are in a coma at the moment, the next contestant is…

AN: Hey I am sooo sorry about not putting the song names! Ginny: Buttons, Pussycat Dolls feat. Snoop Dogg. Draco: Sexy Back, Justin Timberlake feat. Timberland. Ron: Sunday Morning, Maroon 5. There is more to come!


	4. A Dirty Window

Hermione Granger!" Ron shouted. The Slytherins were booing, but every one else looked pleased. A pop song played.

_I am unwritten, can't read my mind, I'm undefined  
I'm just beginning, the pen's in my hand, ending unplanned_

_Staring at the blank page before you  
Open up the dirty window  
Let the sun illuminate the words that you could not find_

_Reaching for something in the distance  
So close you can almost taste it  
Release your innovations  
Feel the rain on your skin  
No one else can feel it for you  
Only you can let it in  
No one else, no one else  
Can speak the words on your lips  
Drench yourself in words unspoken  
Live your life with arms wide open  
Today is where your book begins  
The rest is still unwritten_

_Oh, oh, oh_

_I break tradition, sometimes my tries, are outside the lines  
We've been conditioned to not make mistakes, but I can't live that way_

_Staring at the blank page before you  
Open up the dirty window  
Let the sun illuminate the words that you could not find_

_Reaching for something in the distance  
So close you can almost taste it  
Release your inner visions  
Feel the rain on your skin  
No one else can feel it for you  
Only you can let it in  
No one else, no one else  
Can speak the words on your lips  
Drench yourself in words unspoken  
Live your life with arms wide open_

_Today is where your book begins_

_Feel the rain on your skin  
No one else can feel it for you  
Only you can let it in  
No one else, no one else  
Can speak the words on your lips  
Drench yourself in words unspoken  
Live your life with arms wide open  
Today is where your book begins  
The rest is still unwritten_

_Staring at the blank page before you  
Open up the dirty window  
Let the sun illuminate the words that you could not find_

_Reaching for something in the distance  
So close you can almost taste it  
Release your inner visions  
Feel the rain on your skin  
No one else can feel it for you  
Only you can let it in  
No one else, no one else  
Can speak the words on your lips  
Drench yourself in words unspoken  
Live your life with arms wide open  
Today is where your book begins_

_Feel the rain on your skin  
No one else can feel it for you  
Only you can let it in  
No one else, no one else  
Can speak the words on your lips  
Drench yourself in words unspoken  
Live your life with arms wide open  
Today is where your book begins  
The rest is still unwritten  
The rest is still unwritten  
The rest is still unwritten_

_Oh, yeah, yeah_

Everyone looked just as shocked as they did for Ron. Including Draco. Hermione left the stage looking pleased. Fred and George came out ,finally, looking shell-shocked. "Right then. Our next contestant is someone who helped us out a lot over these years. Ladies and Gents put your hands together for…

AN: They just keep coming! In case you didn't get it, that was Unwritten, Natasha Bedingfield. Next is someone we all know and love…Hehe… well thanks for reading everyone, but I would appreciate it if someone reviewed. It makes me smile.


	5. Save a Life

Harry Potter!" Fred and George yelled in unison. Harry got on stage looking nervous. He popped a CD into the player and waited until his song began.

_Step one, you say we need to talk.  
He walks, you say sit down it's just a talk.  
He smiles politely back at you,  
You stare politely right on through.  
Some sort of window to your right.  
As he goes left and you stay right.  
Between the lines of fear and blame  
And you begin to wonder why you came.  
_

_Where did I go wrong?  
I lost a friend somewhere along in the bitterness.  
And I would have stayed up with you all night  
Had I know how to save a life._

_Let him know that you know best  
Cause after all, you do know best._

_Try to slip past his defense  
Without granting innocence  
Lay down a list of what is wrong  
The things you've told him all along.  
And pray to God he hears you._

_Where did I go wrong?  
I lost a friend somewhere along in the bitterness.  
And I would have stayed up with you all night  
Had I know how to save a life._

_As he begins to raise his voice,  
You lower yours and grant him one last choice.  
Drive until you lose the road  
Or break with the ones you've followed.  
He will do one of two things.  
He will admit to everything,  
Or he'll say he's just not the same  
And you'll begin to wonder why you came._

_Where did I go wrong?  
I lost a friend somewhere along in the bitterness.  
And I would have stayed up with you all night  
Had I know how to save a life._

Everyone looked slightly less shocked, but the applaud was loud, that's for sure. Harry looked embarrassed walking off the stage. "Well that concludes our show for the night! The winner will be announced…" But George stopped speaking as he turned around, looking at the looming figure behind him. "I want…

AN: Chapter 6 coming to a theater near you! That was How to save a life, The Fray. Plz reveiw? Yay!


	6. What are you waiting for?

AN: Thank you, lone reviewer! Unfortunately, I already have my song plans. Hehe…

To compete. Just because no one likes me, I always get the short end of the stick. Well I'm sick of it. Bella start me off!" the hooded figure said to the crowd. Another hooded figure started beat boxing in the background.

_My, my, my music hits me so hard  
Makes me say "Oh my Lord"  
Thank you for blessing_ _me_

_  
With a mind to rhyme and two hype feet  
It feels good, when you know you're down  
A super dope homeboy from the Oaktown  
And I'm known as such  
And this is a beat, uh, you can't touch _

I told you homeboy (You can't touch this)  
Yeah, that's how we living and you know (You can't touch this)  
Look at my eyes, man (You can't touch this)  
Yo, let me bust the funky lyrics (You can't touch this)

Fresh new kicks, advance  
You gotta like that, now you know you wanna dance  
So move, outta your seat  
And get a fly girl and catch this beat  
While it's rolling, hold on  
Pump a little bit and let 'em know it's going on  
Like that, like that  
Cold on a mission so fall them back  
Let 'em know, that you're too much  
And this is a beat, uh, you can't touch

Yo, I told you (You can't touch this)  
Why you standing there, man? (You can't touch this)  
Yo, sound the bell, school is in, sucka (You can't touch this)

Give me a song, or rhythm  
Make 'em sweat, that's what I'm giving 'em  
Now, they know  
You talking about the Hammer you talking about a show  
That's hype, and tight  
Singers are sweating so pass them a wipe  
Or a tape, to learn

_What's it gonna take in the 90's to burn  
The charts? Legit  
Either work hard or you might as well quit _

That's word because you know...

You can't touch this

_You can't touch this_

_You can't touch this _

_Break it down! _

_Stop, Hammer time! _

Go with the funk, it is said  
That if you can't groove to this then you probably are dead  
So wave your hands in the air  
Bust a few moves, fun your fingers through your hair  
This is it, for a winner  
Dance to this and you're gonna get thinner  
Move, slide your rump  
Just for a minute let's all do the bump, bump, bump

Yeah... (You can't touch this)  
Look, man (You can't touch this)  
You better get hype, boy, because you know (You can't touch this)  
Ring the bell, school's back in

Break it down!

_Stop, Hammer time! _

You can't touch this

_You can't touch this_

_You can't touch this_

_Break it down! _

_Stop, Hammer time! _

Every time you see me  
The Hammer's just so hype  
I'm dope on the floor and I'm magic on the mic  
Now why would I ever stop doing this?  
With others making records that just don't hit  
I've toured around the world, from London to the Bay  
It's "Hammer, go Hammer, MC Hammer, yo Hammer"  
And the rest can go and play

You can't touch this

_You can't touch this_

_You can't touch this_

_You can't touch this_

_You can't touch this_

_You can't touch this_

_You can't touch this_

_You can't touch this_

"How many times have I told you that breaking it down will not help you!? Prepare to be vanquished!" Dumbledore shouted, coming from behind the curtains.

_What an amazing time  
What a family  
How did the years go by?  
Now it's only me _

Tick tock  
Tick tock  
Tick tock  
Tick tock  
Tick tock  
Tick tock  
Tick tock  
Tick tock  
(Ha ha ha ha ha)

Like a cat in heat stuck in a moving car  
Scary conversations,  
Shut my eyes, can't find the brake  
What if they say that you're a cutter?

Naturally I'm worried if I do it alone  
Who really cares cuz it's your life  
You never know, it could be great  
Take a chance cuz you might grow  
Oh... oh ohhh

What you waiting  
What you waiting  
What you waiting  
What you waiting  
What you waiting for!?

What you waiting  
What you waiting  
What you waiting  
What you waiting  
What you waiting for!?

Tick tock  
Tick tock  
Tick tock  
Tick tock

Take a chance you stupid Ho

Like a new cut pattern, you're repeating yourself  
You know it all by heart  
Why are you standing in one place?  
Born to blossom, bloom to perish

You know you're only known  
Cuz of your sex chromosome  
I know it's so messed up how our society all thinks (for sure)  
Life is short, you're capable (uh huh)

_Oh... oh ohhh_

_LOOK AT YOUR WATCH NOW!  
YOU'RE STILL A SUPER HOT FEMALE!  
YOU GOT YOUR MILLION-DOLLAR CONTRACT!  
AND THEY'RE ALL WAITING FOR YOUR HOT TRACK!_

_What you waiting  
What you waiting  
What you waiting  
What you waiting  
What you waiting for!?_

_What you waiting  
What you waiting  
What you waiting  
What you waiting  
What you waiting for!?_

_I can't wait to go  
Back into Japan  
Get me lots of brand new fans  
Osaka, Tokyo  
You Harajuku girls  
Damn, you've got some wicked style..._

_GO!  
LOOK AT YOUR WATCH NOW!  
YOU'RE STILL A SUPER HOT FEMALE!  
YOU GOT YOUR MILLION-DOLLAR CONTRACT!  
AND THEY'RE ALL WAITING FOR YOUR HOT TRACK!_

_What you waiting  
What you waiting  
What you waiting  
What you waiting  
What you waiting for!?_

_What you waiting  
What you waiting  
What you waiting  
What you waiting  
What you waiting for!?_

_What you waiting for?  
What you waiting for?  
Take a chance, you stupid ho_

_Take a chance, you stupid ho  
What you waiting for?  
What you waiting for?  
Take a chance, you stupid ho_

Dumbledore stopped singing long enough for a quick running man. The hooded figure brought back his hood and revealed his face. It was Lord Voldemort.

AN: LMFAO! That was so fun! I hope you guys like it too! And doesn't everyone already know what the songs were? Fine…Can't touch this, M.C Hammer. What are you waiting for, Gwen Stefani. R&R? Yay! YOU CAN'T TOUCH THIS!!


	7. Happily Ever After

The next day was chaos. Voldemort had won the talent show, angering the contestants. Fred and George had tried to reason with them, but it was no good. The twins were forced to flee the school. Dumbledore was quite angry because his performance had been so much better than Voldemort's. He'd even had a dance. So for the next week, McGonagall was taking care of mostly everything while Dumbledore sulked. Bellatrix was bragging to the deatheaters that she had been quite crucial to gaining access to the trophy. She was Avada Kedevra'd within an hour. So everything ended happily…sort of.

AN: Well that's it. Hoped you liked it! R&R plz! Thx you! Everyone read all my other stories!


	8. Quick lil AN

Hey everyone! My story's over, but I have a mighty author's note to all of my loved reviewers. I couldn't believe the number of reviews that flocked in when I published this fic! It was amazing! It had at least ten more than Serenity and only nine less than Love is So Complicated. I appreciate all of your support (and this goes for all of my fics). Please continue pleasing and surprising me with your lovely reviews. But please, you retards online, don't send me reviews that say things like "This is stupid." CoughcoughSomethingWittyHerecough Please tell me _why _you don't like my fanfictions. It would sincerely help my writing and I appreciate it to know my flaws and trying to fix them. I know _explaining _is hard work for you morons, but at least friggin try. But to my faithful reviewers (Hedwig199, Emmski, DoubleKK, etc.) thank you so much for reviewing for every chapter, story, and sentence (okay maybe that was a bit much but…) I write. Thank you so much for being so generous and spending the five freaking minutes it takes to give a review. If you do or even if you don't like my fanfiction, put it in a review and tell me why you feel this way. Thank you for your support, once again, and please continue to read and review to my fanfictions.


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